February 14

Robservations | Even Men Like Flowers

Hey maaaaaan, Rob Lee here and I’ve gotten something for the first time. Today is Valentine’s day and usually I don’t get to in depth into my personal relationship but today I must write. I’ve written about girls I’ve dated in the past and I’ve detailed relationships or situationships – say it with me – situat-ion-ships – in the past. So, this is going to be a bit different.

It’s a Jungle out there

Mtrthenetwork has been my longest relationship. It has outlived two long-term relationships. In its infancy MTR was just Mastermind Team’s Robcast and I did the show with my girlfriend and he cousin. It was an ok show – some of those early episodes are dreadful but I learned my voice. When the relationship ended with my cohost, Tiffany. The show was in limbo – this was a period where I took a break for a few months and then linked up with Torin & Dann. This was in 2010. The show changed and was more focused on weird news and I was just hanging with my friends. Eventually I met a girl named Theresa and we dated for a few years. That relationship ended and MTR nearly did as well. So for the next 2 years, I dated frivolously. I was tired, drained and heartbroken. I was tired of experiencing that and aspects of the show suffered – namely that I wasn’t regularly producing episodes. Once I committed to non-commitment I was able to get back to dating. Oftentimes, I would talk and even blog about relationships. Mtrocast started as me and Rob Phoenix talking about online dating and relationships. Also, there is a Oneshot I did with Yolanda called ‘Rob is a thot’. That was an interesting time in the jungle.

A Love Supreme

In reality land, I worked at a college and under my nose while the aforementioned jungle shit was happening, a woman who would eventually be my friend, then lover, then salvation was working in a polka dot dress. Kumari, the Ku, my girlface, is great she’s helped me grow so much as a creator and as a person. I’m very happy and I’m taking more risks than I have ever when I comes to dating, creating and relating (I don’t know what I mean here but it rhymes and rules of three for comedy.) Mostly, I work routines and work out my own philosophy on life with her. That brings me to today I was at the current reality land job and I get a notice that there was a package for me – flowers. I was completely surprised and had no idea what it was – initially I thought stalker, ex-lover or secret admirer. All of which gave me a touch of anxiety. I opened it and read the card which reads “Even men like flowers” – which is something I said in conversation with Ku. I was a wonderful surprise and put a huge smile on my penis…I mean face.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Lord Lee

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February 12

Steel | Who greenlit this shit?

Congrats DC, you did it before Marvel but you played yourself.

This was rough like really rough, it took 6 tries to watch this and shockingly, this is not the worst on this list. Before Hollywood knew better Shaq kept getting starring movie roles.  Granted, Blue Chips is one of the best Basketball films to date and personally take a look (granted a melodramatic look) inside the NCAA. After taking his talents to Hollywood and leaving Orlando, Shaq was destined to follow up on role in Blue Chips with starring roles. First came Kazaam and thank god that doesn’t count; I would’ve threw my laptop.  Kazaam was a flop, but Hollywood did not listen and gave Shaq a DC comic property to work with in Steel.

Steel was never a huge character. In fact, he was a side character to Superman and eventually tried and failed to carry his mantle after Supes defeat to Doomsday. The character John Henry Irons (yes, his name is a pun) was the 1st black comic character to get a Hollywood blockbuster film not Black Lightning, not John Stewart’s Green Lantern, or even Static Shock ugghhhh damn you DC for this!!!!

The film changed certain aspects of his character instead of being a weapons engineer for the fictional AmerTek Industries like he was in the comics, he was a weapons engineer for the military in the film. Also, there is no Superman in this film and thank fucking god for that.  Shaq who plays Irons is discharged from the military due to how dangerous his weapons are and paralyzing one of his comrades in a practice run.  By the way, Shaq in a Military uniform is as ridiculous as it sounds.  Long story short, Shaq sees his weapons on the street and he goes under the guise of Steel to take the bad guys and get the weapons off the street. This film doesn’t deserve a breakdown, fuck that don’t see it. Don’t ask me to elaborate. Judd Nelson plays the villain and he’s just being himself here.  THIS FILM RUINED SHAFT FOR ME. Dammit Mr. Roundtree how could you?  Ray J was in this film as Shaq’s brother, son, nephew I don’t fucking know nor care, but I enjoyed him in this film. This film is bad on all levels and I’m ashamed it took me 6 tries to finish it. Don’t watch it, save yourself.

February 11

Crown City Cooking | Urban Pie vs Screamin’ Sicilian

Whenever I have a craving for frozen pizza, my instinct is to grab a thin crust, three cheese Tombstone pizza. Always delicious, never disappointing, it’s safe to say I’ve been eating Tombstone off and on for over two decades. Recently, my local grocery store ran a sale on various brands of frozen pizza, excluding my life long favorite from the list. Never shy to try out new things, I decided to grab two different pizzas and hold a side by side review, with a clear winner being declared at the end.

First up, a four cheese pizza with garden tomatoes and pesto by Urban Pie. I was drawn to this pizza because of the pesto, now I know better. It’s my new belief that you should never trust frozen pesto. While the sliced mozzarella and tomatoes cooked perfectly, the pesto combined with the overall grease, creating a weird green oil that covered the pizza like a poisonous trap set for the TMNT. With no sauce to barricade the dough from everything else, the whole thing started firm but became limp and inedible. I picked through the tomatoes and gooey moz before scrapping the rest.

Screamin’ Sicilian is a brand I’ve been meaning to check out for a while. Their adverts are catchy and the names of their foods are clever, it only made sense to pick them for the purposes of this review. I picked a four cheese pizza affectionately called “Bessie’s Revenge”. Unlike the pesto pizza, the sliced mozzarella turned out toasted, mimicking the outer skin of a marshmallow. Weird but still very edible. The dough was somewhat fluffy for a thin crust pizza but still snapped with crispy perfection. Bessie’s Revenge sported a tomato sauce that was more spicy than robust but went very well with the melty, creamy Wisconsin cheese.

You’d think by this point, the clear winner would be obvious, but you’d be wrong. While Urban Pie’s wimpy, grease filled pizza is no comparison to Screamin’ Sicilian’s crispy, flavor filled circle of wonder, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had eaten Screamin’ Sicilian before. That’s when it hit me, the spicy tomato sauce, the multitude of creamy cheese, the perfectly crisp crust… this is a Tombstone on a different level. If I had to categorize it, I would say that Bessie’s Revenge is the perfect gourmet rendition of a Tombstone frozen pizza. The ingredients are elevated, the sauce and crust a bit thicker, but the warm happy feeling you get as you take your first bite remains the same. The only real difference here is price.

 

So to reiterate, never trust frozen pesto and when in doubt, get a Tombstone.

 

– CCC

 

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