“the universe wants me to have…” or doing something selfish or reckless or even a vice is “self-care”
Hey man, Rob Lee here and I have something on my mind – self-care.
I get it self-care, mindfulness, meditation and all other sort of watered down eastern philosophy and quasi-religion is flooding our timelines, publications and overall lives. It’s targeted in a specific way – those who want to be healthier, for instance, my consider yoga – yogi requires patience, why not try meditation? That’s all fine and makes sense but I am distrustful of the practitioners, the gurus or experts. That’s not say they are quacks but they have people believing that everything can be summed up with “the universe wants me to have…” or doing something selfish or reckless or even a vice is “self-care”.
SELF-CARE HAS GONE POP
The way we deem self-care from this watered down, twice distilled, pseudo-eastern philosophy isn’t good. There’s nothing wrong with what we do aside from our perception on it. There has to be a balance – many people believe and act as if they have no control so they actively do shit and claim the universe made me do it. That’s relinquishing ownership, detaching yourself from your choice. Why is it only periods of self-care instead of regular instances like exercise or work? For some people, drinking an extra expensive bottle of rosé is self-care. I don’t believe this is the case.
ME & MINDFULNESS
Self-care is a choice. I agree that we really in the big scope of things have no control over most things. I had been in therapy for years and my therapist used a mindfulness approach and I sought our lectures from Alan Watts and Raj Purdy. That stuff is dense and hard to understand for me at least. But I recognize what is real and what is pop. A lot of what I see is pop! For instance, meditation is fucking hard – and, from my understanding, it’s only seconds to minutes of enlightenment – meditating. So, when the lad with the topknot and sandals says he can do it for hours – I am not convinced.
Now self-care – well how we approach self-care – is very helpful for this culture. It’s a reward system, instant gratification and none of the shame. Now something like going to the gym or yoga isn’t what I’m referring to. I had a moment last night after a shitty afternoon – it was ok up until I heard how much more someone makes than I and happened to be a white guy who half-asses his job (I know women hear it all the time so I get it now), I am already ostracized at my office so it’s an undertaking for me to even go to work. So, after being pissed off, I got myself a couple of cookies – later I check out my wardrobe and notice a few things that needed to be replaced – like a pair of jeans and sneakers. Within 20 minutes and $400 later, the universe made me spend that. Did I feel better? Yes. Did I that ownership of my choices and prospective consequences? Yes. I am responsible for my feelings – the root of why people believe this instant gratification regardless of circumstances or outcome version of self-care.
I’m sure some of you will agree with me and other will not. Let me know what you think at firstname.lastname@example.org