A Note on Perception


Recently, yer boy, Rob Lee, had a conversation about feminism and sexism. Essentially, the key takeaways were that feminism is racism. Sure there are very deep parallels ( such as ongoing treatment, violence, and overall inequality)  – many, many ( I stress many) women are victims but not all. It’s irrational to a belief that every woman is going to be a particular way – say every woman likes chocolate for example. Secondly, by being a male I would not, could not and should not attempt to understand the plight that women encounter daily – many, many ( I stress many) men are victimizers but not all. It is also irrational to believe that all men are out to victimize women, to harm women. Sure, I cannot understand that I am not and never will be a woman (thinly veiled sexism aside – I have tits though).  More to my actual point, I believe that these inequities and issues are prevalent in all cultures, however, I believe in the culture that is so up in arms about these injustices only focus on their side, their victimization and some of it is based in perception.

If you believe you “suck” you probably suck, things probably suck, people probably. If you believe you are a victim then you’re seeking supporting arguments, causes or instances where they or their gender group in this instance are victims. Based in this, one would believe that if I don’t get a job it’s because a man got it and somehow I’m a victim – ignoring the prospect that Melvin ( let’s use that name here) is more qualified than Meagan (she’s gonna be Meagan here). It’s akin to ” you didn’t hire me because I’m black”. I’m not here to say that the causes are wrong or flawed. I think the causes a misused by some vocal people who perceive that women are the only people who are victims. I read ( read up on this as I felt I was at a deficit) that the feminist cause is about equality and purely could be called humanism. If that is true, where are the instances where men’s lib are discussed or when males who can be a victim ( although that lower numbers) are rallied about? The perception is that men are evil and men deserve what’s coming to them and what they do doesn’t make up for the rapists, the abusive husbands, the good ol’ boys and so on. However, if a woman hasn’t been victimized or isn’t up in arms about the cause or doesn’t find men inherently evil, she’s uninformed or stats will be mentioned to have her empathize that be an assimilated into this victim-borg. Just because someone was born with a penis doesn’t mean he’s going to oppress you. And, just because you’re born smaller, sans penis, into a world where males are perceived to control every and all, it doesn’t mean that you are weak, a victim or anything other than a person that is capable of doing great things.

This is my perception. After listening to the feminist, sexist arguments this week. I’ve concluded that if I say anything I do not understand but I’m stubborn and a vocal individual when things are equal. The feminist and sexist stances, at least how they’re used by some folks,  are unnecessarily slanted to one-side. We require a balance. I like at many things from an innocuous prism. For instance, I’m a surely, moody bloke and I’m often told to smile by women – guys don’t care. However, if that’s flipped around it’s sexist – there’s a movement I hear on this. The minute women a movement is mentioned or the “you won’t understand because” or the “did you know” is mentioned, the argument or point loses validity. The key point in the argument is for a man to tell a woman to smile is for the male’s benefit ( you’d be more pleasing to MY eye) and to show his power. OK is this sexist? I’ve been told to shave my beard by women as well because I’d look better. I’m sure I’ll be told no because it’s different. It’s the perception that men can’t understand what women go through and similar treatment can’t happen to men. That’s something men have to accept as fact. On the sexist note, there’s antiquated bullshit that still goes on so I understand it atitss root. The man makes the money and the woman keeps the house in order. It’s archaic and impractical these days yet the perception here is that women are expected to know how to cook and clean. I think everyone should know how to cook and clean – those duties shouldn’t be left to one person – gender blinded. If women are expected to cook all the time then that’s a problem and IT IS SEXIST. However is it not sexist for a man – as he’s believed to make more money or whatever, to have to pay for dinner every time you folks go out as a couple. If he doesn’t pay or gripes about it then he’s less of a man or cheap or a loser (not degradation)  Oh no, that’s nowhere near being possibly viewed as sexist – that’s called traditional or old fashioned. Is it sexist for a man to have to be a protector? Why can’t he be a pussy? It’s cherry picking instances of sexism to validate your point. Both genders are effected, women more and traditionally, while men are effected in a different way and generally men aren’t vocal about their victimization. There’s differences certainly.

In closing, I don’t either side understands the plight that the other side experiences. I prefer to love and hate people equally. I tend to be indifferent to all until I have enough information to make a judgment – my derivative of the innocent until proven guilty. I find that some women take the asshole/rapist/”he doesn’t care about women” view of men until proven otherwise – but the catch is you can’t prove them otherwise because that equates power  and they’re “powerless”. Women here because I haven’t spoken to men or women in other countries, hell other cities, have more power then they has 10 years ago but the perception is that women have no power because there are still men around. But perception does a lot to help in the understanding here. If you have a shitty look on your face, one would assume you’re having a bad day and may be trying to empathize and cheer you up. But if you have the preconceived notion that this man ( backtracking) is trying to dominate you into improving your mood then you can only be unreceptive. I don’t claim to know anything and I welcome anyone who doesn’t agree with what I’ve typed to sway me but I reserve the right to that the femy-sexisty approach and say you won’t understand.



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Posted 11/23/2013 by Rob Lee in category "Blog