The Man You Need, The Douche Bag You Deserve
Riddle me this:
Who has the dating qualities you are looking for but you’ll never consider dating? Give up? The same blokes you’ve or many women have described as lame, creepy or thirsty – when the dude is not. Honestly, there are guys out there that get the unjust, generalization as every douche bag or asshat that has come to a girl looking to “chill” under the guise of genuinely getting to know a girl. While women want to be snowflakes (everyone is different). Many guys is foul – no personality, no goals, tons of lies and other bullshit and women have their guard up.
Where’s the cautious optimism?
Some guy believes treating dames like free throws ( they’re easy and you gotta know ’em down). However, Every guy isn’t this way – some like making half-court circus shots (I prefer the bank shot – the good old bank shot). I’ve been treating like a common foul, dude even before a conversation. It makes me not interesting but the belief is ” you stopped talking to me because I’m not going to have sex with you” (not true, honestly it’s not), “No, I stopped talking to you because there’s nothing to gain from you and the fact that you marginalized me furthers that assessment.” Women are terrible for this-this guilt-driven ” like me only, under my terms” thing. Tangent aside: some guys are social awkward based in conditioning – by that: these guys are being themselves and the reciprocation is negative conditioning (i.e. no dates, no interest, bad dates and the belief that they’re somehow not “good enough”.
The irony is, women, for the sake of this submission, online dating women, want a good guy that’s genuinely interested in cultivating a real connection. I welcome that. There’s nothing better, for this guy, Good Ol’ Rob Lee, than learning about new things, people and places ( clearly, I like new nouns?).
The Macho Madness
For me, it’s a vetting process too (hold on, urgh – there are levels to this shit? and a method to my Macho
madness). I believe in the “what makes you so great” approach and having the text exchanges ( not the “wyd” horseshit), the phone conversations and the (the ones where you forget what time it is because the conversation is engrossing) and actual dates ( no me spending a grip for a faked up, narcism session) gives me that. It should give anyone that.
Doesn’t that have to be both ways? I’ve been inundated with women who want me to like all of there “splendid” personality – their quirks and so on. That’s fine but don’t try so hard to be quirky. That appears to be mask-ish, less Nolan Bane and more Robin domino mask (your mouth is running with possible lies, propaganda but I rather am looking into your eyes for the truth – the eyes are the gateway to the soul). Simply put: some women I’ve met are so into themselves, their narrative ( the one that’s written by, starring, choreographed and with a special appearance from themselves) that the guy they claim to want ( charming, has something going for them, attractive maybe a bit aloof/socially awkward) doesn’t have a chance. For instance: I get loads of “check out my Instagram and you’ll see my journey” ( REALLY, you have time for me between galavanting and evading the paparazzi) when I’m engaged in a conversation. Firstly, if I’m conversing with you, it means I WANT TO TALK TO YOU – I don’t want a referral to you’re selfies. I’m genuinely interested in what you’re about ( goals, interests aspirations) but don’t refer me to you getting “turnt up” or wearing glasses and holding a PS3 controller with the caption, “nerd girl gaming”. That’s you’re online persona and Piss off! On the converse, I have a blog, a podcast and other interests (never said there great or even worthwhile) but the response is “what do you record in your mom’s basement?” and my retort should be “no, I record in YOUR mom’s basement”. I don’t like the typical treatment. Or the why are you this way on you’re podcast – you seem so…ba-ba-ba-bu-ba (whatever)? I’ve been hit with it and I punt (move the fuck on) That’s what these blokes are relegated to – lip services and getting to know someone instead of making a connection. Is that the intent or is it a give and take in this information sharing scenario?
Every dude isn’t a douche bag
Every guy isn’t EVERY guy. There are terrible men and women in the dating scene. I think men are more OK on the surface with their shit ( the lies, womanizing and being horrible) and also are more logical insofar as there are good women who exist ( they’re not necessarily looking for them – they’re looking for free throws) but women try and rationalize and edify themselves (I’m a princess, diva and so on while that’s setting themselves up to encounter Joe Douchbag and they’ll view the, admittedly Social awkward guy, through a douchebag prism – “OMG, why are men so terrible?”. No, no, no you’re terrible too. Let’s be terrible together since the perception is there are no “good guys out there”. Your vetting process is for shit and that skews what you get. You hunt, what you can catch ( RIP Patrice O’Neal). If you’re type A personality – why would you go after B’s ( going after bitches…yeah….no!). Work on you’re vetting and you’ll, man or woman, find someone as awesome (narcissistic) as you Instagram illustrates.
- Kissed my fair share of douche bags (valleygirlgonecountry.wordpress.com)
- Deconstructing “Douchebag”: an informal genealogy (conspicuousbloggers.wordpress.com)