Whenever I have a craving for frozen pizza, my instinct is to grab a thin crust, three cheese Tombstone pizza. Always delicious, never disappointing, it’s safe to say I’ve been eating Tombstone off and on for over two decades. Recently, my local grocery store ran a sale on various brands of frozen pizza, excluding my life long favorite from the list. Never shy to try out new things, I decided to grab two different pizzas and hold a side by side review, with a clear winner being declared at the end.
First up, a four cheese pizza with garden tomatoes and pesto by Urban Pie. I was drawn to this pizza because of the pesto, now I know better. It’s my new belief that you should never trust frozen pesto. While the sliced mozzarella and tomatoes cooked perfectly, the pesto combined with the overall grease, creating a weird green oil that covered the pizza like a poisonous trap set for the TMNT. With no sauce to barricade the dough from everything else, the whole thing started firm but became limp and inedible. I picked through the tomatoes and gooey moz before scrapping the rest.
Screamin’ Sicilian is a brand I’ve been meaning to check out for a while. Their adverts are catchy and the names of their foods are clever, it only made sense to pick them for the purposes of this review. I picked a four cheese pizza affectionately called “Bessie’s Revenge”. Unlike the pesto pizza, the sliced mozzarella turned out toasted, mimicking the outer skin of a marshmallow. Weird but still very edible. The dough was somewhat fluffy for a thin crust pizza but still snapped with crispy perfection. Bessie’s Revenge sported a tomato sauce that was more spicy than robust but went very well with the melty, creamy Wisconsin cheese.
You’d think by this point, the clear winner would be obvious, but you’d be wrong. While Urban Pie’s wimpy, grease filled pizza is no comparison to Screamin’ Sicilian’s crispy, flavor filled circle of wonder, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had eaten Screamin’ Sicilian before. That’s when it hit me, the spicy tomato sauce, the multitude of creamy cheese, the perfectly crisp crust… this is a Tombstone on a different level. If I had to categorize it, I would say that Bessie’s Revenge is the perfect gourmet rendition of a Tombstone frozen pizza. The ingredients are elevated, the sauce and crust a bit thicker, but the warm happy feeling you get as you take your first bite remains the same. The only real difference here is price.
So to reiterate, never trust frozen pesto and when in doubt, get a Tombstone.