Crown City Cook | Fluff n Stuff

photo provided by google

It’s a little after two in the morning. I’ve spent the last four to six hours bouncing between Call of Duty with a few friends and soloing my way through Diablo 3 for the third time. I’m not exactly exhausted, at least not yet, my stomach is making noises akin to a large fish tank filter. It keeps reminding me that, in the last sixteen hours, all I’ve had to eat was half a sandwich and several slices of long horn Colby cheese. I need to eat something but everything in the fridge would require cooking and if I eat anymore cheese I may back myself up all weekend. In my wobbly haze, I remember reading an article on The Takeout about fluffernutter sandwiches.

Despite living with both peanut butter and fluff all my life, I have never once thought to make this fever dream of a treat. But in that delirious moment, I couldn’t think of a better late night snack. Grabbing bread, a jar of Peter Pan and a jar of jet puff that had been in the fridge since Thanksgiving, I quickly attempted to make what I thought was a simple ass sandwich. My first mistake came when I realized I was using cold jet puff instead of Fluff, the brand that is synonymous with fluffer nutter sandwiches. When I was done trying to spread an impossible layer of mallow, the sandwich was torn and smudged with finger prints. I didn’t even bother tasting it.

The next day, once I had gotten a proper amount of sleep, I went to the store to purchase actual Fluff. I wasn’t going to be defeated again. My second attempt at a fluffer nutter sandwich went better, but I still struggled spreading that sweet white goodness (phrasing).

After another day passed I had the genius idea to melt the fluff just a little bit in the hopes it would be more spreadable. It was, but I left it in a little too long and ended up with a fluff drizzle. Which in the end, turned out to be my favorite version of all. I added a little bit more regular fluff for weight and finally enjoyed what I’m assuming is a slightly modified fluffernutter sandwich.

In short, if you are going to try to make a fluffernutter sandwich, always buy the name brand. And if you happen to find yourself wandering the kitchen around 3 am, just go to bed before you hurt yourself.

About the Author
Like a haberdasher dealing with a tree full of monkeys, Dann wears many hats. He is one half the hosting power on the Robcast, MTR's resident foodie, the low-rent chef with a heart of gold and the creative brainchild behind Emo Kid Dance Party.
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