March 6

Robservations | Self-Care, Eastern Philosophy

“the universe wants me to have…” or doing something selfish or reckless or even a vice is “self-care”

Hey man, Rob Lee here and I have something on my mind – self-care.

I get it self-care, mindfulness, meditation and all other sort of watered down eastern philosophy and quasi-religion is flooding our timelines, publications and overall lives. It’s targeted in a specific way – those who want to be healthier, for instance, my consider yoga – yogi requires patience, why not try meditation? That’s all fine and makes sense but I am distrustful of the practitioners, the gurus or experts. That’s not say they are quacks but they have people believing that everything can be summed up with “the universe wants me to have…” or doing something selfish or reckless or even a vice is “self-care”.

SELF-CARE HAS GONE POP

The way we deem self-care from this watered down, twice distilled, pseudo-eastern philosophy isn’t good. There’s nothing wrong with what we do aside from our perception on it. There has to be a balance – many people believe and act as if they have no control so they actively do shit and claim the universe made me do it. That’s relinquishing ownership, detaching yourself from your choice. Why is it only periods of self-care instead of regular instances like exercise or work? For some people, drinking an extra expensive bottle of rosé is self-care. I don’t believe this is the case.

ME & MINDFULNESS

Self-care is a choice. I agree that we really in the big scope of things have no control over most things. I had been in therapy for years and my therapist used a mindfulness approach and I sought our lectures from Alan Watts and Raj Purdy. That stuff is dense and hard to understand for me at least. But I recognize what is real and what is pop. A lot of what I see is pop! For instance, meditation is fucking hard – and, from my understanding, it’s only seconds to minutes of enlightenment – meditating. So, when the lad with the topknot and sandals says he can do it for hours – I am not convinced.

OBSERVATION

Now self-care – well how we approach self-care – is very helpful for this culture. It’s a reward system, instant gratification and none of the shame. Now something like going to the gym or yoga isn’t what I’m referring to. I had a moment last night after a shitty afternoon – it was ok up until I heard how much more someone makes than I and happened to be a white guy who half-asses his job (I know women hear it all the time so I get it now), I am already ostracized at my office so it’s an undertaking for me to even go to work. So, after being pissed off, I got myself a couple of cookies – later I check out my wardrobe and notice a few things that needed to be replaced – like a pair of jeans and sneakers. Within 20 minutes and $400 later, the universe made me spend that. Did I feel better? Yes. Did I that ownership of my choices and prospective consequences? Yes. I am responsible for my feelings – the root of why people believe this instant gratification regardless of circumstances or outcome version of self-care.

I’m sure some of you will agree with me and other will not. Let me know what you think at mtrthenetwork@gmail.com

R

May 3

Mastermind Team’s Robcast 193 | Pullout Kings

An episode where our heroes discuss penis facts, their greatest hits and the mercury retrograde.

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July 23

Cummin’ Soon with Lisa & Rob Lee | 9 – Alternative Sex Lives: Swinging & Polyamory

An episode where Lisa & Rob Lee have an educational discussion on alternative sex lives, pointedly swinging and polyamory.

 

Episode 8

 

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December 28

Lists | Communication Rankings

To preface this: I see the value in all forms of communication. Social Media has made the world smaller and increases the reach of one’s voice (i.e. this blog and website). However, the way social media is used is out of control and has been for a while. The phone conversation is viewed as dated and archaic. The handwritten note is Jurassic at this point.  I’m taking the time now to rank each of the forms of communication I use.

  1. Smoke Signals – this is a huge one, a game-changer.  I always utilize whenever I’m in the plains states.
  2. Social Media – In a way this is anti-social media (pardon the hackyness here). People have forgotten have to converse and work through their issues. Log-in to Facebook right now and count how many vague and thinly veiled digs are on your timeline.  Personally, I’ve been in relationships and out of them via Facebook (seriously, Facebook official – Grow up). There is a need for it, clearly, it’s a multimedia platform and it casts the widest net but it’s user are poorly utilizing it.
  3. Skype –  this is a better phone call. It’s better, obviously, because the callers are able to see one another. The callers can connect on multiple senses as opposed just the one from a telephone call. There is an air of importance here as with a traditional call.
  4. Telephone – this is a tried & true staple for communication. There is an air of importance and, in these days, confusion here.  “Why are you calling me? You could have texted me.” As the master of the 2-minute call, it’s arduous for me to maintain a call ( ironically, I’m a conversationalist and a podcaster). I don’t perform well with awkward silence.
  5. Text/Chat – this is overused. Needed but just over used to the extent that people communicate and write in netiquette.  However there’s nothing better than receiving  a dirty MMS. Shouts out the the text pervs and the dames with lower inhibitions.
  6. Handwritten note – What happened to this? It was such a novel idea but now it appears to be too formal and dated. However this goes hand and hand with actually speaking to someone. It’s the sender’s essence (poor handwriting, grammar) being sent without the technological filters of texting. I’ve written handwritten notes and they’ve only been for people I am totally enamored with. They take time and thought. Sometimes a text doesn’t do it – as a it’s an instantaneous medium and curse auto-correct (I said “I love you” not “I lube you” – now I’m explaining why I’m not buying astroglide instead of reveling in that sentiment)

I hope you learned something that you’ll apply. Send a handwritten note and call that person instead of posting vague Instagram pictures.

  • What social media teaches us about leadership (holykaw.alltop.com)
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December 8

The Man You Need, The Douche Bag You Deserve

Riddle me this:

Who has the dating qualities you are looking for but you’ll never consider dating? Give up? The same blokes you’ve or many women have described as lame, creepy or thirsty – when the dude is not. Honestly, there are guys out there that get the unjust, generalization as every douche bag or asshat that has come to a girl looking to “chill” under the guise of genuinely getting to know a girl. While women want to be snowflakes (everyone is different). Many guy are foul – no personality, no goals, tons of lies and other bullshit and women have their guard up.

Where’s the cautious optimism?

Some guy believe treating dames like free throws ( they’re easy and you gotta know ’em down). However, Every guy isn’t this way – some like making half-court circus shots (I prefer the bank shot – the good old bank shot). I’ve been treating like a common foul, dude even before a conversation. It makes me not interesting but the belief is ” you stopped talking to me because I’m not going to have sex with you” (not true, honestly it’s not), “No, I stopped talking to you because there’s nothing to gain from you and the fact that you marginalizaed me furthers that asessment.” Women are terrible for this – this guilt driven ” like me only, under my terms” thing. Tangent aside: some guys are social awkward based in conditioning – by that: these guys are being themselves and the reciprocation is negative conditioning (i.e. no dates, no interest, bad dates and the belief that they’re somehow not “good enough”.
The irony is, women, for the sake of this submission, online dating women, want a good guy that’s genuinely interested in cultivating a real connection. I welcome that. There’s nothing better, for this guy, Good Ol’ Rob Lee, than learning about new things, people and places ( clearly, I like new nouns?).

The Macho Madness

For me it’s a vetting process too (hold on, urgh – there’s levels to this shit? and a method to my Macho

Domino mask

madness). I believe in the “what makes you so great” approach and having the text exchanges ( not the “wyd” horseshit), the phone conversations and the (the ones’s where you forget what time it is because the conversation is engrossing) and actual dates ( no me spending a grip for a faked up, narcism session) gives me that. It should give anyone that.
Doesn’t that have to be both ways? I’ve been inundated with women who want me to like all of there “splendid” personality – their quirks and so on. That’s fine but don’t try so hard to be quirky. That appears to be mask-ish, less Nolan Bane and more Robin domino mask (your mouth is running with possible lies, propagranda but I rather be looking into your eyes for the truth – the eyes are the gateway to the soul). Simply put: some women I’ve met are so into themselves, their narrative ( the one that’s written by, starring, choreographed and with a special appearance from themselves) that the guy they claim to want ( charming, has something going for them, attractive maybe a bit aloof/socially awkward) doesn’t have a chance. For instance: I get loads of “check out my instagram and you’ll see my journey” ( REALLY, you have time for me between galavanting and evading the paparazo) when I’m engaged in a conversation. Firstly, if I’m conversing with you, it means I WANT TO TALK TO YOU – I don’t want a referral to you’re selfies. I’m genuinely be interested in what you’re about ( goals, interests aspirations) but don’t refer me to you getting “turnt up” or wearing glasses and holding a PS3 controller with the caption, “nerd girl gaming”. That’s you’re online persona and Piss off! On the converse, I have a blog, a podcast and other interests (never said there great or even worthwhile) but the response is “what do you record in your mom’s basement?” and my retort should be “no, I record in YOUR mom’s basement”. I don’t like the typical treatment. Or the why are you this way on you’re podcast – you seem so…ba-ba-ba-bu-ba (whatever)? I’ve been hit with it and I punt (move the fuck on) That’s what these blokes are relegated to – lip services and getting to know someone instead of making a connection. Is that the intent or is it a give and take in this information sharing scenario?

Every dude isn’t a douch bag

Every guy isn’t EVERY guy. There’s terrible men and women in the dating scene. I think men are more OK on the surface with their shit ( the lies, womanizing and being horrible) and also are more logical insofar as there’s good women who exist ( they’re not necessary looking for them – they’re looking for free throws) but women try and rationalize and eddify themselves (I’m a princess, diva and so on while that’s setting themselves up to encounter Joe Douchbag and they’ll view the, admittedly Social awkard guy, through a douchbag prism – “OMG, why are men so terrible?”. No, no, no you’re terrible too. Let’s be terrible together, since the perception is there’s no “good guys out there”. Your vetting process is for shit and that skews what you get. You hunt, what you can catch ( RIP Patrice O’Neal). If you’re type A personality – why would you go after B’s ( going after bitches…yeah….no!). Work on you’re vetting and you’ll, man or woman, find someone as awesome (narcissistic) as you instagram illustrates.

RL

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